• The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph! 

 

  • Life isn’t like a bowl of cherries, it’s more like a jar of jalapenos – what you do today may burn your ass tomorrow… 

 

  • Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

 

  • If you feel “dog tired” at night, maybe it’s because you “growled” all day!

 

  • Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to be sarcastic.