Been receiving lots of email asking me my experience with TENGA. Honestly I am not a guru but I think after 22 TENGA onacups and 2 flip holes (make that 3), I think I know a few things to share with other sex toy users out there. Ten Tenga Commandments:

1. Keep it clean – I understand the temptation: you want to prolong the life of your Tenga onacup (the red, black, white disposable cups) by re-using them. Do so only if you use a condom. If you use it bareback there is still a chance that some of your pre-cum may be deposited in the cup thereby causing the cup to smell (really bad).

2. Do not share your Tenga – honestly, unles you are in a gay relationship and the cups are for the 2 of you I dont think you want to share the cup with your other straight dude friends: the idea will just be too horrid.

3.  Wash your Flip Hole immediately after each use. This is quite self-explanatory. The best way to remember this commandment is to forget it once.

fliphole

fliphole

 

4. Do not use the dishwasher – Hygiene reasons aside, the wash cycle may be too harsh on the delicate materials and shorten the lifespan of your Fliphole.

5. Do not use the microwave – yeah you want to heat up the unit but they have warmer for that purpose.

6. Do not buy imitations – Imitators are doing it for the money, they dont care about your comfort, pleasure or safety. They are after the money and will not hesistate to use inferior or even cheap or banned substances. You have only one dick, why risk it?

7. Explore your body and use your imagination – at the end of the day, you are responsible for your OWN fucking pleasure and sexual gratification. Do not send me email telling me how the product did not make you feel good etc etc etc. I am not your sex therapist.

8. I am also not TENGA or tengatango.com ‘s spokesman. I have been using their materials for my blog whenever I talk about Tenga so I thought I return the favor by referencing them. And I do NOT sell TENGA. I have a full-time job that pays well.

9.  If you get a TENGA for your birthday or Christmas, remember to thank your girlfriend / wife / boyfriend / partner / colleagues / boss / etc etc etc. And dont return a used TENGA cup no matter how appreciative you are… doing so will mean you will NEVER get another TENGA cup shipped to you ever again.

10. Remember that TENGA was designed to imitate SEX – not masturbation. Yes it is a masturbator but the intent is to copy sex. I dont know about you but I dont move the Tenga cup up and down my dick – instead I move my dick in and out of Tenga… I pretend that I am fucking someone so I am pumping and thrusting into the cup like I really mean it (sometimes slow and deep, sometimes shallow and fast). If you are only keen on masturbating for goodness sake just use your hand!