My Lebanese friend visited me in Bangkok over the weekend and surprised me by announcing that he will be getting married to a girl in a months time.

When he broke the news to me I thought he was kidding me, and I thought it was way too early for April Fools, and too late to wish me a belated birthday joke.

Anyhow without much thought, I agreed to be his Best Man. You have seen those movies about how the Best Man (usually the Groom’s best friend) been secretly f*cking the Bride-to-be. Except in my case, I had some fun with the Groom-to-be instead – suffice to say it involved more than just the workouts and showers – mutual JO, and all the other sh*t, but no penetrative sex (I guess it was because we could not agree on who will top who. LOL!).

I fondly recalled how we met and the erotic things we did. He was of similar build, beautifully dark skin, and the most amazing set of eyes like they were fire. Not to sound too clique, we were like the north and south poles of a magnet. Unfortunately we did not try to f*ck each other – my mistake. Would be perfect for a flipflop with him. Perhaps I see too much of myself in him (as a dominant top) and prefer him to remain as a top?

So when I realise that he meant what he said. I felt a sting of betrayal. Not sure what’s the proper way to describe it but it did not go well with me. Maybe he wanted me to talk him out of it, maybe he wanted closure (write-off the time we had fun with each other intimately) or maybe he now wants me to see him differently?

Whatever the case, that lady is one lucky bitch. For starterd he is totally gorgeous. Let me put it this way, despite my desire for him to remain a pure top – untainted and all, if he were to get intimate with me ever again, I will not hesitate to sodomise him.

So far I have came across two other men who weren’t straight but getting married cos it was their “duty”. I aint the one to judge but I always wondered if they can delude themselves better than their wives at the end of the day, and hoped that it will not turn out to be another tragic mistake for them.

But even as I empathise with my friends and gay friends and their crazy desire to get married, I am rigid on why it may be a preferred option to remain single.

1. Solo
Being single means you can have your way – every time and about everything. There is no need for compromising, or meeting halfway. You are the sole decision-maker, no hang-ups, no arguments.

2. Peace
When couples try to impress me to find ‘somebody’, I am almost always amused why – a moment ago – they were having the biggest fight and wished each other death. I can do without the drama thank you.

3. Space
You have time to yourself and unlike those in a relationship where they constantly need to find space from each other. Sometimes you get into the way of your partner, tomorrow he gets into yours. Is this a new game?

4. Self-sufficency
Being alone does not mean being lonely. Your singlehood will allow you to be in touch with yourself. You are your own best friend. You don’t need to be that person your partner had wanted you to be or become. Drop the act.

5. Mobility
Today’s workplace values individual mobility. It means you can fly halfway across the other side of the globe in a minute’s notice. You don’t incur expensive international calls too. If I were the CEO, I would hire only singles. Married folks have too much burden.

6. Freedom
You can meet whoever you want, fu*k anyone, date anyone without any consequences. If you are attached and feels that I am being selfish in this regard, it is because you can no longer enjoy this priviledge as I now have. Suck it up and stop telling me I need to get settled down and become miserable like you.

7. Rationale
Name me irrationale individuals you know who are currently in a relationship, and you will begin to see how the entire thing does not make sense. Many people in relationships do weird things.

8. Soulmate
Love should not be just a groovy clingy affection- you should feel that deep connection. Read somewhere that a man is a husband only if he can read everything that his spouse is NOT saying. So unless you can be each others’ soulmate, you will be two persons in a relationship constantly trying to make it work.

Good Luck to all of us!